So there’s this friend of mine who has recently created a Go Fund Me account for her cat. Apparently the cat (Dennis) got out of the house (again) and got hit by a car.
Before any of you start freaking out, the cat is fine. They got him to the vet and spent a ton of money fixing his broken leg, which is now healing to the tune of $1500. My friend has started a money-raising campaign to help with the cost because she can’t afford it.
Now, I’ve known this girl my entire life. I was in her wedding, she was in mine, our kids are friends, we’ve been all over the world together – serious friends. The kind of friends who don’t hesitate to help out when one of their cats flings itself beneath a moving car and breaks a leg.
The thing is, I haven’t helped.
I’ve been struggling with this over the past few weeks, and here’s why. This friend of mine really pissed me off. Now, I know she didn’t mean to and she has worked hard to make up for it since she did it. She even attended the funeral of a family member who died a few weeks ago. That action alone should warrant a few dollars for the cat. But I can’t do it!
That’s the problem with being a sociopath: once I go dark on someone, I have no control over it. I have literally willed myself to feel something – anything – for this girl and I can’t. The infraction she committed was the latest in a series of huge mistakes on her part, and I guess it was the last proverbial straw.
I’m not even mad! I’m just … nothing. And I don’t like that. I don’t like having zero control over my lack of emotion. It makes me feel unstable. That’s why I try as often as I can to engage in things that I know will elicit a positive emotional response. For me, that’s kids and animals.
Anything involving an animal or child in need warrants an immediate response from me – always. Just last week I made a large anonymous donation to a charity created by a girl I can’t stand, just because she is raising money for her little brother.
I can’t STAND this girl! But I donated the cash in a heartbeat because I knew the child needed it. I don’t need any acknowledgement (thus the anonymity), I’m not looking for absolution, it’s just a trigger for me. And it makes me feel good to help any child or animal that needs it.
Any animal, that is, except poor Dennis…which is crazy! It’s not the goddamned cat’s fault my friend pissed me off. Why should he have to suffer?
And to make matters worse, no one else is contributing either It’s almost comical at this point. Every few days my friend edits the title and re-posts it.
In the span of 3 or so weeks, the captions have gone from hopeful and encouraging to almost hostile. By no exaggeration today’s edit was “I’VE STARTED RAISING MONEY FOR MY CAT – DOESN’T ANYONE CARE – DONATE NOW!!!!”
Three weeks and not a single contributor. I knew I wasn’t the only sociopath out there.